I am very honest by nature, but it can sometimes get me in a little bit of trouble. Especially with my parents! So I have decided to spare others the same fate by publishing the comments I make that get me in trouble. Do try to avoid using the following. Also, please send me any of your “ http://onehappyplace.com/ Things You Should Never Say” ideas and I will post them here as well.
Well, here goes…..
My Mom said, “Bailey, I don’t want to ever see you do that again, you could hurt yourself!”
My response – “Maybe you should close your eyes.”
My Mom said, “Bailey, I am not sure that this green dress is the right color for me to wear.”
My response – “Mom, you look beautiful in every color….just make sure it’s long enough to cover your big calves.”
My Dad says “I don’t want to put you in quiet time.”
My response, “so don’t!” (I got put in quiet time pretty fast).
Mom asks (angrily), “Who peed on the floor?”
My response, “Dad”.
“Mom, your downward facing dog pose should be called big butt, short arms pose…”
“Dad, get the lead out….Mom’s at the door”.
“Bailey, stop that barking!”. “Ok, Dad….why don’t you try it?”
“Who farted?” (You did, Bailey…It smells like Blue Buffalo in this house).
Mom asks, “Bailey, did you chew the strap on my new purse?” (this is a case where it’s not what I said, but what I did that got me in trouble)
My response: spit out the remaining pieces from my mouth like suede lava.
“Mom, come here. I want to pull that piece of grey out of your hair”.
“Dad, why don’t you give me that last cookie. After all, there is only one of us here with six-pack abs”.
“Mom, you smell so good! Are you using the same perfume they wash me with at the groomers?”
“How come the two of you can poop inside the house?”
Snuggling in bed with my Mom when Dad comes in the bedroom….”Sorry, Dad. No room for you”.
Spitting out the rice Mom put in my bowl I say “yuck, tastes like wet cat! Oh, you made it, Mom? Sorry, my bad…”
“How old are you? What?….in dog years you’d be dead….”
“Mom, don’t worry about your weight. Look at me…..I eat anything I want and I am only 35 pounds. How much did you say you weigh? WHAT?… maybe you should eat a fat free yogurt”.